The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered.
I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.
What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'?
My baby is weird man... when he get mad, he gets in the oven.
How the hell do you wake up dead?