Mark Twain Witty Quotations

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.