Ann Landers Funny Quotations

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.

At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.

An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce.

A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.