Garry Shandling Funny Quotations

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts.