Groucho Marx Silly Quotations

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.

I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.