Groucho Marx Humor Quotations

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.

Humor is reason gone mad.