No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing.
I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.
Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.
I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill tied to it.
Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.
I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.