Russell Baker Funny Quotations

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.