Russell Brand Funny Quotations

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.

On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.

How long is it polite to continue to be interested in what someone says after they reveal they've got a boyfriend?

Even in name, he seems like a Victorian oddity. "Igor, fetch 'the Crouch' from the catacombs, we're going to the graveyard".

Amy Winehouse - her surname's beginning to sound like a description of her liver.

If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?

When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things.

I used to binge-eat and make myself throw up. I was a fat kid. Obviously I didn't quite master the bulimia.