E. W. Howe Funny Quotations

None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away.

Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.