Frank Zappa Funny Quotations

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

Jazz is not dead - it just smells funny

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

If you really love guitar, you're going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.