Bill Watterson Funny Quotations

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

Leader, bandits at 2 o'clock! Roger; it's only 1:30 now-what'll I do 'til then?

Buttons ... check. Dials ... check. Switches ... check. Little colored lights ... check.

I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.

You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor that will be the strongest, and that will transmit itself. Rather then trying to find out what the latest trend is, you should draw what is personally interesting.

The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!? - Calvin and Hobbes