Scott Adams Funny Quotations

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.

As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.

I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.